January 7, 2026
Okay, so I had this realization recently.
Getting ready has kind of become a ritual for me. Not because I’m trying to look a certain way, but because it actually helps me feel like myself again. And I didn’t fully realize that’s what was happening at first.
For a long time, mornings were just about getting through them. Wake up already tired, move fast, react, do what needed to be done. Somewhere in all of that, I stopped factoring myself in. Getting ready felt extra. Like something I’d only do if there was a reason.
And honestly, for years, I waited on external things to give me permission to get ready. Friends. Partners. Plans. If there wasn’t somewhere to go or someone to see, it felt like a waste of an outfit or makeup. Like why bother if no one was going to see me.
So I just wouldn’t.
And if I’m being real, when I don’t give myself something grounding, I end up looking for that feeling elsewhere. I always have. Little distractions. Old habits. Anything that helps regulate me when I don’t know how else to do that.
So instead of pretending I don’t need that, I started paying attention.
Now the first thing I do is put music on. That’s when the shift happens. It’s like I stop bracing for the day and actually get to choose how I’m entering it. The music sets the mood, and then I’ll do my makeup. Not to look perfect, not for anyone else, but just to come back into my body for a minute.
Some days it’s five minutes. Some days it’s messy. Some days it’s barely anything at all. But it’s intentional. It’s me reminding myself that I’m here and I get a say in how the day starts.
And what’s changed is that I don’t wait anymore.
Even if there are no plans, I still get ready. I get dressed to feel good. And then I give myself reasons to step out. A walk. A coffee. Fresh air. Nothing big. I’m not waiting for the moment to happen before I show up. I’m making the moment.
That shift alone has been huge.
It gives me dopamine in a way that feels steady instead of frantic. It’s helped me rely less on things I used to reach for just to get through the day. Not because I’m forcing anything away, but because I’m finally offering myself something first.
I also realized why I used to feel that ache when I’d see moms who looked put together at drop off. It wasn’t jealousy. It was longing. They hadn’t abandoned themselves that morning. They showed up feeling whole, even with everything they were carrying.
I wanted to know what that felt like.
And now I kind of do. At least a little.
It’s not about vanity. It’s about choice. About not waiting for someone else to give you a reason to show up as yourself.
So yeah. If getting ready for no reason at all helps you feel more like you, I don’t think that’s shallow. I think that’s you deciding you’re worth showing up for.
xo.XO,
Moníca
